Have you ever felt a sense of drowsiness and warmth after making love? And in that moment, did you experience tremendous loss because your partner didn’t embrace you?
Having such feelings is not uncommon; it’s a normal physiological response. When we reach orgasm, our brains are flooded with dopamine and oxytocin, creating excitement and happiness. Therefore, if we separate immediately after making love, we can experience a strong disconnection in intimacy, leading to uncomfortable emotions.
But at the same time, I want to tell you that those chemicals, also known as the “sex afterglow,” continue to surge within your body. This afterglow makes you satisfied with lovemaking because that feeling is truly incredible! So, if we can understand this physiological response and take care of it, it can effectively enhance the intimacy between us.
Psychologist Meltzer and her team conducted a study involving over 200 newlywed couples. They found that sexual activity can increase relationship satisfaction, lasting more than 48 hours.
Although the frequency of sexual activity among most couples may not be high, the “sex afterglow” is a cognitive mechanism connecting emotions to the physical aspect. A study published in Psychological Science in 2017 revealed that individuals with a more robust sex afterglow reported higher relationship satisfaction.
Researchers from the University of Toronto, including Amy Muise, found that the key factor affecting relationship satisfaction is not foreplay or the duration of sexual activity but rather the act of embracing after intercourse. Partners willing to spend more time kissing, hugging, or caressing after lovemaking significantly increase the sense of closeness between them.
How can we prolong the sex afterglow? Utilize the “six-minute rule”!
Since sex afterglow is crucial and has many benefits, how can we extend it? Researchers Robin Milhausen and others conducted a study that revealed women who engage in continued intimate interaction with their partners for 6-10 minutes after sexual activity experience greater pleasure than those who receive no caresses or less than 6 minutes of personal connection. They coined this the “six-minute rule.”
Robin Milhausen mentioned that sex makes us vulnerable; we expose ourselves emotionally and are filled with intense feelings. When sexual arousal triggers oxytocin, it intensifies the inner desire for love. Therefore, the often overlooked “after play” becomes the key to enhancing emotional warmth.
Here are five proposals for after-play to create an unforgettable sexual experience together (and try to go beyond six minutes):
First and foremost, embrace him tightly, as if expressing your love repeatedly.As Muise pointed out, post-sex embraces show appreciation to your partner and make them feel valued. You can try a lingering embrace, preserving body heat and uninterrupted intimacy.
Kissing is essential at any moment.Many men enter the “wise sage mode” after intercourse, and their attitude may immediately change, or they might want to leave the bed immediately. Such behavior can easily make the other person feel objectified as merely a means of release. Therefore, in addition to embracing them, continue kissing him to make him think deeply enamored by you at any moment when your passion is irresistible.
Gentle stimulation of sensitive areas for a more blissful connection.After intense sexual activity, your sensitive areas become even more responsive and delicate. At this time, you can try gentle touches, such as softly caressing each other’s genitals or kissing each other’s nipples, to create a sense of being cherished.
Sustaining the passion, try slow lovemaking:
“Slow Down Before Climax: Tantric Sex for Deeper and Longer-lasting Excitement”
Tenderly help your partner dress, demonstrating appreciation and care.Next, you can shower together and slowly help each other get dressed. As mentioned earlier, being completely naked in front of someone makes you feel vulnerable, and performing this act allows your partner to know they are being tenderly protected and cherished.
Discuss your feelings and anticipate the next intimate moment.Lastly, you can chat, asking each other about your favorite moments from the recent lovemaking session or what you would like to try. This makes the other person feel cared for and builds anticipation for every future sexual encounter.
Sexuality can be discussed and even planned:
“I Love You, but It’s Starting to Feel Like Routine: The Need for a ‘Sex Schedule’ to Avoid Sexual Ruts”
The tender moments after lovemaking are almost as important as the act itself. To go further and deeper in an intimate relationship, perhaps it all starts with those critical six minutes (or making sure it exceeds six minutes)