For heterosexual couples, it may be common to associate the end of sexual intercourse with male ejaculation. So, if for any reason he is unable to ejaculate, the woman may start to wonder if she is no longer attractive to him or if she did something wrong. The man may also worry if he has failed to satisfy his partner.
This line of thinking may lead to questions like, “Is our love fading?” or “Are there problems in our emotional connection?”
However, let’s pause here for a moment. Today, let’s talk about “dry orgasms” in men! From possible causes to the discussion of orgasms and love, you might gain some different perspectives.
“What’s the deal with not ejaculating?” Is it something to worry about?
A dry orgasm, as the name suggests, refers to the situation where a man reaches orgasm but does not ejaculate or only produces a small amount of semen.
According to Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a sex researcher in the United States, many reasons can cause a dry orgasm. For instance, the amount of semen released may decrease if a man has had multiple orgasms in a short period. Some individuals may experience “retrograde ejaculation,” where semen is pushed into the bladder (later to be mixed with urine and expelled) due to conditions such as an enlarged prostate or diabetes.
However, dry orgasms themselves are not harmful. Only if they are caused by retrograde ejaculation it is important to pay attention to other underlying health issues.
So, should one worry about experiencing dry orgasms? If it continues to occur and causes distress, especially if you have fertility plans, it is advisable to consult a healthcare professional to understand the underlying reasons. Having a better understanding of your own body is always beneficial. But if you already know that there are no significant health concerns, yet you still find yourselves worried, perhaps it’s time to shift our focus to the psychological aspects.
“Not ejaculating doesn’t mean he didn’t enjoy it.” Understanding the relationship between love and orgasm
First, let’s discuss the impact of habitually considering “male ejaculation” as the end of a sexual encounter. When both of you are focused on reaching a particular “endpoint,” your actions may revolve around striving to achieve that distant goal. Yet, there are many positive sensations in sexual intimacy beyond orgasm or ejaculation, and these subtle and beautiful aspects can easily be overlooked in the process.
By setting clear standards for happiness (or “success”), you inadvertently transform the pleasure of sex into something absolute, losing sight of its true essence.
Because you love him, you want to bring happiness to each other and deepen your emotional connection through sexual intimacy. So why should the “completion” of sexual and loving encounters rely solely on a one-sided orgasm?
During orgasm, our brains release dopamine, which brings intense pleasure. Then, when you experience love, the brain releases a large amount of oxytocin, accompanied by memories of the happiness you share with your partner.
This brings us back to the notion that sex, as a daily practice that enhances intimacy, is truly about experiencing pleasure and happiness through the brain. Not ejaculating physiologically and psychologically does not mean he didn’t enjoy it. There are many ways to bring joy to the body; intimate moments allow you to open your senses and fully embrace each present moment.
The next time you feel anxious because of a lack of ejaculation, inability to become wet, or other physiological states, apart from seeking help from a healthcare professional, let’s also practice slowing down and reminding ourselves that although the body may not lie, your love and desire for each other are more honest than anything else.